Practice What You Preach: The Power of "OK"
When working with clients, we often talk about how conflict can arise — whether that is between romantic partners, at work, with children, or just in everyday life. While conflict is not inherently a problem, our reaction often results in less than desirable outcomes. Why is that? Simply put, a reaction is not well thought out. It is a quick, impulsive response and often not in line with our values and beliefs.
One of the best ways to reduce, and even completely avoid, conflict is two simple letters: "OK." When well practiced and aligned with our values, "OK" is a response, not a reaction. That is where our practice what you preach lesson comes into play.
During a walk this morning I was enjoying the beautiful weather while passing through a local park — one that I have walked through countless times. Over the past few months there has been some construction, and parts of the park had been fenced off. Today the fences were down and the work appeared complete, allowing me to cut through to my neighborhood. As I started down the path, someone jumped out of a pickup truck and began yelling at me that I could not be there, that the police could be called, that people needed to stop walking there, and a whole variety of other unpleasant things.
My initial reaction was to yell back , to point out that he was being rude, that there were no fences or signs, that I was simply taking a walk. But I took a moment to pause and practice what I preach. I simply said, "OK."
This person was demonstrating all the signs of someone who was frustrated, angry, and perhaps looking for a conflict, something I had no interest in engaging with. My goal was to get some exercise and enjoy a beautiful day. As he continued to escalate, I kept my response the same: "OK."
You can't be here: OK. We can call the police: OK. People should know not to walk here: OK.
And guess what happened? Nothing. I walked by, avoided the conflict entirely, and enjoyed the rest of my morning.
None of that would have been possible without practice. The therapeutic work we do with clients around conflict, communication, and emotional regulation is exactly this kind of skill-building — learning to pause, reflect, and respond in ways that align with who we want to be.
Try it out for yourself. Next time there is a minor disagreement or potential conflict, take a breath and simply respond: "OK." See what happens. And if you find yourself struggling to get there, our treatment team at Navesink Psychological Services is here to help. Reach out for a free consultation.
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