Anxiety · Acceptance & Commitment Therapy

There’s (Probably) No Tiger in the Waiting Room

Dr. Strobel

Navesink Psychological Services • 3 min read

In treating anxiety, one of the first things we sit with together is an uncomfortable truth: we can never be completely certain that something bad won’t happen. There’s no guarantee to hand out.

But here’s the part that changes everything : we don’t have to be certain, and we don’t have to win an argument with our anxious thoughts before we’re allowed to live. We can notice the thought, make room for the discomfort that comes with it, and still choose to move toward what matters to us.

That’s the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Anxiety tends to organize our lives around moving away from what feels scary. ACT asks a different question: what would it look like to move toward your values instead : even with the fear riding along?

I often give clients a slightly ridiculous example. It is technically plausible that there’s a tiger in our waiting room right now. Maybe one escaped from a traveling circus, wandered through Red Bank, smelled all the great snacks we keep around, and made its way upstairs. Possible? Sure. Likely? No. So I don’t let that thought take over and stop me from walking through the door. Clients usually laugh, point out how absurd it is, and insist it could never actually happen.

Well. Thanks to the wonderful world of internet algorithms, this landed in my feed: a tiger at a traveling circus leapt into the crowd after a safety barrier collapsed. So apparently I need a new example.

But notice what the story actually shows. The feared thing happened : and no one was hurt. The thought “this could go badly” turned out to be just that: a thought, not a prophecy and not a command. In ACT terms, we’d call this unhooking, or defusion : learning to see a thought as a passing mental event rather than the literal truth we have to obey.

The tiger thought can show up. You can even admit it’s not 100% impossible. And you can still walk into the room.

So don’t let the fear of the tiger stop you. Notice it, let it ride shotgun if it insists, and keep driving toward the life you actually want : the one aligned with your values, where the scary stuff is something you move toward rather than around.

You can do this.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

ACT is an evidence-based form of therapy that helps you relate differently to difficult thoughts and feelings rather than fighting to eliminate them. Instead of waiting until anxiety goes away to start living, ACT helps you make room for discomfort while taking action toward the things you value most.

How is ACT different from trying to get rid of anxious thoughts?

Many approaches focus on challenging or removing anxious thoughts. ACT takes a different angle: it treats thoughts as passing mental events rather than facts or commands you must obey. This skill, called defusion or “unhooking,” lets you acknowledge a scary thought without letting it run your decisions.

What does it mean to move toward your values?

Values are the qualities and directions that matter to you : being a present parent, a dependable friend, a curious learner. Anxiety often pulls us to move away from anything uncomfortable. ACT helps you choose actions that move you toward those values, even when fear shows up along the way.

Does ACT work for anxiety?

ACT has strong research support for anxiety, as well as depression, chronic stress, and many other concerns. Rather than measuring success by how little anxiety you feel, it focuses on helping you live a fuller, more values-driven life regardless of what thoughts and feelings come and go.

Ready to take a step toward your values?

Our clinicians at Navesink Psychological Services in Red Bank and Oceanport can help.

Get in touch