A values card sort won't make anxiety disappear. But it can show you exactly where to push through the storm instead of running from it.
Everyone has a unique set of values that matter to them. To identify these values, we use a values card sort as a powerful tool. It's a simple task: we take a deck of cards with a value printed on each one and sort them into piles: very important to me, important to me, and not important to me. The goal is not to change what someone cares about, but to help them understand more fully what already matters to them. Once we establish their values, we can discuss how anxiety impacts living a life aligned with those values. Often, clients rate values that are the direct opposite of their current anxious behaviors, and that gap is exactly where the work begins.
Four values that stand out most in this work
If a client ranks Adventure as a value, we discuss how that means being open to new experiences, and how anxiety about trying new things directly conflicts with that value. We start small, like trying a new menu item at a favorite restaurant instead of an exotic new cuisine. As the person aligns with being adventurous, their anxiety reduces as they see they can be adventurous, enjoy how that feels, and move on to the next adventure.
Anxiety can be really sneaky. It is an expert in finding ways to make someone depend on others for accommodation and reassurance. We see this a lot with social media, which can serve as an echo chamber that validates anxious thoughts and behaviors. Working toward being independent of reassurance leads to values alignment with huge outcomes. A simple mantra like "This is hard for me, and I can do it" is a great strategy toward independence. We teach that instead of running away from the anxiety storm, push through the storm and come out on the other side. If you focus on running away, anxiety will always catch you. The best way to feel better is to go through the storm.
Anxiety loves to live in the future. What happens if I don't get the promotion? What happens if I ask someone out and they say no? What happens if I embarrass myself and it gets caught on camera and shared a million times all over the internet? Aligning with mindfulness, defined as living in the present moment, keeps us in the here and now instead of spiraling into anxious future-focused thinking. One of our most powerful strategies to stay in the moment is bringing attention to the body. What does it feel like to have my feet planted on the floor, to take a slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth? The mind drifts to the future easily, but the body only lives in the present. That's a huge hack for staying mindful.
Rationality, being guided by reason and logic, is a powerful tool in treating anxiety since anxiety is rarely logical. Logically, I know there is no bear in my waiting room, but if I'm afraid of bears, I might still be nervous to peek outside. That's irrational, but anxiety loves to play in that playground. For a more realistic example, think about being anxious to go on a plane. Is there a 0 percent chance of a crash? No. Is it wildly unlikely, around a 0.00000909% chance based on most sources? Yes! When we align with rationality, we challenge the anxious thought and live a life where things like travel are enjoyable rather than dreaded. We tend to overpredict the chances of something bad happening and underpredict the chances of something good or neutral happening. Rationality helps correct that imbalance.
Try it for yourself
I'd encourage anyone suffering from anxiety to try a values card sort for themselves: see where their values conflict with their anxious thoughts and behaviors, and make some values-aligned choices to work against the anxiety.
Frequently asked questions
If anxiety is keeping you from the life you actually want to live, our team at Navesink Psychological Services works with individuals navigating anxiety in all its forms, from everyday worry to more persistent patterns.
Get in touch
