There's (Probably) No Tiger in the Waiting Room

Anxiety · Acceptance & Commitment Therapy

There’s (Probably) No Tiger in the Waiting Room

Dr. Strobel

Navesink Psychological Services • 3 min read

In treating anxiety, one of the first things we sit with together is an uncomfortable truth: we can never be completely certain that something bad won’t happen. There’s no guarantee to hand out.

But here’s the part that changes everything : we don’t have to be certain, and we don’t have to win an argument with our anxious thoughts before we’re allowed to live. We can notice the thought, make room for the discomfort that comes with it, and still choose to move toward what matters to us.

That’s the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Anxiety tends to organize our lives around moving away from what feels scary. ACT asks a different question: what would it look like to move toward your values instead : even with the fear riding along?

I often give clients a slightly ridiculous example. It is technically plausible that there’s a tiger in our waiting room right now. Maybe one escaped from a traveling circus, wandered through Red Bank, smelled all the great snacks we keep around, and made its way upstairs. Possible? Sure. Likely? No. So I don’t let that thought take over and stop me from walking through the door. Clients usually laugh, point out how absurd it is, and insist it could never actually happen.

Well. Thanks to the wonderful world of internet algorithms, this landed in my feed: a tiger at a traveling circus leapt into the crowd after a safety barrier collapsed. So apparently I need a new example.

But notice what the story actually shows. The feared thing happened : and no one was hurt. The thought “this could go badly” turned out to be just that: a thought, not a prophecy and not a command. In ACT terms, we’d call this unhooking, or defusion : learning to see a thought as a passing mental event rather than the literal truth we have to obey.

The tiger thought can show up. You can even admit it’s not 100% impossible. And you can still walk into the room.

So don’t let the fear of the tiger stop you. Notice it, let it ride shotgun if it insists, and keep driving toward the life you actually want : the one aligned with your values, where the scary stuff is something you move toward rather than around.

You can do this.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

ACT is an evidence-based form of therapy that helps you relate differently to difficult thoughts and feelings rather than fighting to eliminate them. Instead of waiting until anxiety goes away to start living, ACT helps you make room for discomfort while taking action toward the things you value most.

How is ACT different from trying to get rid of anxious thoughts?

Many approaches focus on challenging or removing anxious thoughts. ACT takes a different angle: it treats thoughts as passing mental events rather than facts or commands you must obey. This skill, called defusion or “unhooking,” lets you acknowledge a scary thought without letting it run your decisions.

What does it mean to move toward your values?

Values are the qualities and directions that matter to you : being a present parent, a dependable friend, a curious learner. Anxiety often pulls us to move away from anything uncomfortable. ACT helps you choose actions that move you toward those values, even when fear shows up along the way.

Does ACT work for anxiety?

ACT has strong research support for anxiety, as well as depression, chronic stress, and many other concerns. Rather than measuring success by how little anxiety you feel, it focuses on helping you live a fuller, more values-driven life regardless of what thoughts and feelings come and go.

Ready to take a step toward your values?

Our clinicians at Navesink Psychological Services in Red Bank and Oceanport can help.

Get in touch

More Snow?!?! An Opportunity for Acceptance

Well, it looks like we are in for another snowstorm Sunday night, with totals reaching multiple inches in the Red Bank area, and chances of snow are high for all of New Jersey.

As I checked the weather, my initial thoughts were “Oh no, not again! We were just starting to see the green signs of spring as the snow from our last storm melted off. This is going to mess up the Monday morning commute and delay schools. I wish it wouldn’t snow again!”

Then it hit me! What a great time to practice some acceptance using skills taught in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). While I can not control the storm, I can control my thoughts and feelings about it and make space for the uncomfortable. I can see the joy in changing weather patterns and the excitement of school-aged children, hopeful for a snow day. I can set an intention to get some more exercise shoveling and helping neighbors dig out their cars. If work is cancelled, I can spend the time connecting with my family and friends and live the values that are most important to me.

So, whether we get a light dusting or a full-on blizzard, I am mentally prepared to accept the outcome and find peace in not fighting what I can not control.

Enjoy the rest of winter!

Be Your Best Self, Even When Sick!

Between colds, flu, stomach bugs, and more, this time of year can be especially challenging in our the Red Bank area as colder weather sets in and germs circulate more easily, leaving many individuals and families feeling run down. When the inevitable happens and you find yourself sick, how you respond to that experience matters.

Illness can be an opportunity to practice self-compassion and psychological flexibility. Rather than criticizing yourself for getting sick or becoming frustrated that you cannot function at your usual level, take a step back and acknowledge the reality of the moment: your body is unwell. Acceptance does not mean giving up, it means recognizing what is true so that you can respond more effectively.

Allow yourself to slow down and do the best you can within your current limits. Pushing yourself to maintain the same pace you would have while healthy often prolongs recovery and increases both physical and emotional strain. Choosing rest and care is not avoidance. It is a values-consistent act of respecting your health.

Mindful awareness of emotional reactions can be tremendously helpful while not feeling well. Notice what comes up for you when illness interferes with productivity. You might find yourself thinking, “Why am I so angry that I can’t complete this task?” Approaching these thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment can reveal how harsh or unfair your expectations may be. This awareness creates space to respond with greater kindness toward yourself.

As we move through cold and flu season, remember to care for yourself both physically and emotionally. Practicing acceptance, self-compassion, and flexibility during times of illness supports not only recovery, but long-term well-being as well.