Parenting in the Age of Ebikes: How to Navigate Tough Conversations

Parenting Teen Safety Adolescent Development

What parents need to know, and how to say it.

MS

Matthew Strobel, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist · Navesink Psychological Services

navesinkpsych.com ↗

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Our community has experienced real tragedy recently involving e-bikes. If you have a kid asking for an e-bike or permission to ride a friend's, this post is for you. Our goal is to equip parents with the knowledge and skills they need to feel ready to effectively talk to their teen and keep them safe.

This post comes from a place of deep personal experience. I was hit by a car while riding a regular bicycle as a young adult. I was lucky. The outcome could have been very different. And I was a college-aged adult with a developed brain and years of experience navigating the world and driving. I still ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. That is the nature of road accidents. They can happen to anyone. But they are significantly more likely to happen to people who feel invincible and whose brains are not yet wired for the kind of situational awareness that sharing a road with cars requires.

That is not a criticism of teenagers. It is neuroscience.

The teen brain is not built for this

The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, risk assessment, and decision-making, does not fully develop until the mid-twenties, and develops later in males. Teenagers are not making bad decisions because they are bad kids. They are making bad decisions because the part of the brain that pumps the brakes on bad decisions is still under construction.

But it is not just the prefrontal cortex. Three interconnected areas of the brain all play a role in the kind of situational awareness that riding an e-bike on a road with cars actually requires.

Prefrontal Cortex

Handles impulse control, risk assessment, and decision-making. Still developing until the mid-twenties. This is the brake pedal, and in teenagers it is not fully installed.

Limbic System

Processes excitement and reward. In teenagers, this system is hyperactive and underconnected to the prefrontal cortex. The thrill of speed registers loudly. The rational warning signal stays quiet.

Anterior Cingulate Cortex

Responsible for real-time error detection and course correction. Underdeveloped in teens, meaning they are neurologically slower to recognize when a situation is going wrong and react in time.

E-bikes add a layer of danger that regular bicycles simply do not have. They are faster, heavier, and capable of reaching speeds that require real road experience to navigate safely. Most teenagers have never driven a car, and if they have it has not been for long. They have no frame of reference for how vehicles behave, how intersections work, or how fast things can go wrong. Throwing them onto a machine that can hit 28 miles per hour or more on a road with cars is not the same as letting them ride a bike around the neighborhood.

And then there are the modified bikes. Many of the e-bikes being sold and traded among teenagers have been altered to go significantly faster than their original design. Parents often do not know this is happening. The bike looks the same. It is not. Finding a reputable bike shop that can show you the differences and help your teen pick a bike that is the right fit is a great way to find a middle ground for teens who want an e-bike and parents who want to keep them safe. It also follows the harm reduction approach we will talk about next.

The thrill of speed is neurologically louder in the teenage brain than the warning signal that says slow down. That is not a character flaw. It is biology. And it is why the conversation has to start with parents, before the moment of decision arrives.

Abstinence does not work

I want to be honest with parents here, because I think the instinct to say "absolutely not, end of conversation" is understandable but not always effective. We know from research on teen substance use, sexual behavior, and risk-taking that a pure abstinence approach tends to fail. Teens find ways around it. The goal is not to pretend the risk does not exist. The goal is harm reduction.

That means: if your teenager is going to be around e-bikes, which they will be because their friends have them, the conversation cannot end at no. It has to include what to do when a friend offers them a ride, what to do if they feel pressured, and what safety looks like if they are ever on one.

• 1
  If you do allow an e-bike

  Do not allow one that can be modified. Know exactly what your child has. Use location tracking apps like Life360, which can show you real-time speed not just location. Set clear expectations about speed limits, which roads are off-limits, and helmet use, with real consequences for violations and real rewards for consistent safe behavior.
• 2
  If you do not allow an e-bike

  Make sure your teenager knows how to handle the moment a friend hands them a helmet and says get on. That conversation needs to happen before the moment, not after. Give them a script, not just a rule.
• 3
  Find the middle ground with a reputable bike shop

  A knowledgeable shop can help you and your teen understand the difference between a safe, age-appropriate e-bike and the kind that gets modified and traded among teens at dangerous speeds. Involving your teen in that choice gives them ownership and you confidence in what they are riding.

How to talk to your teen about peer pressure around e-bikes

This is where the clinical piece comes in. We see this pattern constantly with alcohol, nicotine, and substance use. The same dynamics apply here.

Teenagers are not usually pressured by strangers. They are pressured by friends they like and want to stay connected to. Saying no in that moment feels like saying no to the friendship, which is why a flat refusal rarely works without a way out.

Give your teenager an exit. Something they can say that does not make them the problem.

"My parents track my location and they will see the speed."

"My parents will literally take my phone if I get on that."

Let the parent be the villain. That is fine. We can take it.

Let's not be naive: teens are much more tech savvy than parents and will always find a way to work around a system. Tracking is just one tool in the toolbox, but just like sometimes you need a hammer and sometimes you need a wrench, we always want to stock the toolbox with the right tools for the job. Besides tracking, regular conversations about the dangers of riding too fast can go a long way. Try not to preach. Instead, take an approach where you ask more questions than you provide facts. Keep the conversation open and ongoing. How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk is a timeless classic with practical advice for parents about how to have your voice actually heard.

The goal is to give your teenager a script that preserves the friendship and gets them off the bike.

When they say you're being overprotective

They will say it. Here is how I respond, and you are welcome to use it:

"When you were a baby, you did not want to get in your car seat either. You screamed about it. I strapped you in anyway because my job is to keep you safe, not to be your friend in every moment. That does not stop being true because you are older. It just looks different."

Overprotective is what teenagers call it when a parent does their job and the teenager does not like the outcome. That is okay. They do not have to like it. It is your job to keep them safe.

A note on New Jersey law

As of July 19, 2026, New Jersey has some of the strictest e-bike laws in the country. This is worth knowing not just for safety reasons but because it gives you a concrete, factual basis for the conversation with your teen that is harder to push back on than "I just think it's dangerous."

NJ E-Bike Law: effective July 19, 2026

Riders under 15 are banned from operating any e-bike on public roads

Riders 15 and 16 need a specialized motorized bicycle license from the NJ MVC, including a knowledge test, vision test, road test, and 45-day permit period

Riders 17 and older need a standard NJ driver's license

All e-bikes must be registered with the MVC and carry liability insurance

Helmets are mandatory for all riders at all ages

If your teenager is riding without a license, registration, and insurance, they are breaking the law. If something happens, your family may have no coverage. At best, something could happen to your child. At worst, others could be seriously hurt too.

Frequently asked questions

My teen says all their friends have e-bikes. How do I hold the line? ⌄

This is one of the most common pressure points parents face. The answer is not to dismiss the social reality but to acknowledge it while holding firm on the safety concern. "I know it feels like everyone has one. My job is not to be like everyone's parents. My job is to keep you safe." If you are open to allowing an e-bike under the right conditions, make that clear and work toward it together rather than making it a complete standoff.

How do I know if an e-bike has been modified? ⌄

This is genuinely hard to detect without expertise, which is exactly why we recommend involving a reputable bike shop. A knowledgeable shop can inspect a bike and identify whether it has been altered. If your teen is riding a bike that came from another teen, a private sale, or an online marketplace, it is worth having it looked at. Do not assume it is what it appears to be.

What if my teen rides an e-bike at a friend's house without my knowledge? ⌄

This is where the pre-conversation matters most. If your teen already has a script, an exit line they can use with friends, they are far more likely to use it in the moment. It is also worth having an honest conversation with other parents in your circle. You may find more shared concern than you expect, and a collective approach carries more weight with teenagers than one family going it alone.

When should we consider professional support around these conversations? ⌄

If conversations about safety consistently escalate into significant conflict, if your teen is engaging in risk-taking behavior across multiple areas, or if your family is processing fear or grief connected to local tragedies, speaking with a therapist who works with adolescents and families can help. Sometimes a neutral third party can open conversations that feel impossible at home.

Saying no to your teenager is one of the hardest parts of parenting. It does not feel good. It creates conflict. They will be angry. And it is still the right call. You are not their peer. You are their parent. Those are different jobs, and the second one matters more.

If you want support navigating these conversations with your teen, or if your family is processing fear or grief connected to what has been happening in our community, our team is here.

Reach out for a free consultation

Tags

Parenting Teen safety Adolescent development Peer pressure Harm reduction E-bikes Teen brain Mental health NJ Red Bank NJ Navesink Psychology

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From Correction to Compassion: Supporting Your Child With ADHD

ADHD Parenting May 30, 2026 · 4 min read

Why the ratio of encouragement to correction matters more than most parents realize — and what to do about it.

MN

Michele Noesges, LCSW

Licensed Clinical Social Worker · Navesink Psychological Services

navesinkpsych.com ↗

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Kids with ADHD typically hear a steady stream of correction — a lot more than their peers. Not because they're "worse," but because impulsivity, forgetfulness, and distractibility are more visible. Over time, that constant correction can chip away at motivation and self-esteem in ways that are hard to reverse.

The antidote isn't manufactured praise. It's a genuine, consistent shift in focus: catching kids doing things right, and making sure they hear about it far more often than they hear about what went wrong. If you're unsure whether ADHD is at the root of what you're seeing, a comprehensive evaluation can be a helpful starting point.

Kids with ADHD need to feel seen for what they're doing right far more often than for what they're doing wrong.

One useful guideline is a roughly 10-to-1 ratio of positive feedback to corrections. That number isn't meant to be tracked obsessively — it's a reminder that encouragement needs to significantly outweigh correction, especially for kids who are already getting corrected more than most. If you notice that most of your interactions with your child are corrections, that's the signal to shift, not to count.

A few things to keep in mind about positive reinforcement: it works best when it's genuine. Forced or exaggerated praise is something kids pick up on quickly, and it can backfire. The goal isn't a performance — it's noticeably more encouragement woven into ordinary moments across the day.

6 strategies that actually help

• 1
  Catch small wins constantly

  Don't wait for big achievements. Noticing and naming small wins builds momentum and helps kids begin to see themselves as capable.

  • "You started your homework without me asking."
  • "I noticed you stayed in your seat for those five minutes."
  • "You remembered your backpack — that's progress."
• 2
  Make praise specific, not generic

  "Good job" fades quickly. Specific praise sticks because it tells the child exactly what they did and why it mattered.

  • "You kept trying even when that was hard."
  • "I noticed you're really working on staying focused."
• 3
  Separate the child from the behavior

  This protects your child's identity. Framing corrections around choices — not character — keeps the relationship intact and makes the feedback easier to hear.

  • "That choice didn't work — let's try that again."
  • Instead of: "You're being disruptive."
• 4
  Keep corrections short and neutral

  Long lectures don't land well with ADHD. A calm tone, few words, and a clear direction is almost always more effective than an extended explanation.
• 5
  Use pre-correction

  A quick check-in before a challenging situation reduces the need for correction afterward. It primes the child to self-regulate rather than react.

  • "What's the plan when we go into class?"
  • "What's one strategy you can use if you feel the urge to call out?"

  Reduces negative feedback before it's needed
• 6
  Make positives visible

  Simple tools like "caught being mindful" notes or a visible tally of positive moments make success concrete for kids who may not internalize verbal praise as easily. This isn't a bribe — it's a way of making progress feel real.

Frequently asked questions

Isn't praise just going to make my child expect rewards all the time? ⌄

Genuine, specific praise builds intrinsic motivation over time — it's not the same as offering rewards for every behavior. The goal is to help your child notice and feel good about their own progress, not to create a transactional dynamic. The more they internalize a positive self-image, the less external reinforcement they'll need.

What if my child barely has any positive moments to catch? ⌄

Start smaller. Look for moments like sitting still for 30 seconds, making eye contact, or walking calmly into a room. For kids who have been in a long cycle of correction, even micro-moments count. The bar needs to meet your child where they actually are — not where you wish they were.

Does this approach work at school too? ⌄

Yes, and it can make a significant difference. Teachers who use specific positive feedback and pre-correction strategies typically see fewer behavioral disruptions and better engagement from students with ADHD. Sharing these strategies with your child's teacher — or asking their therapist to connect with the school — can help create consistency across settings.

When should we consider professional support? ⌄

If your child's self-esteem, motivation, or behavior at home or school is significantly impacted, a therapist who specializes in ADHD and child development can be a valuable partner. At Navesink Psychological Services, we work with children, families, and schools to build consistent, strengths-based approaches that extend well beyond the therapy room.

Changing a correction-heavy pattern takes time, especially when you're tired and the behaviors are genuinely hard. But small, consistent shifts in how your child hears from you can make a real difference in how they see themselves — and that matters far beyond any single behavior.

If you'd like support building these strategies at home or connecting them to what's happening at school, our team is here to help.

Learn more at Navesink Psychology

Tags

ADHD Parenting support Child mental health Evaluations Positive reinforcement Behavior support Self-esteem School-age children Mental health NJ Navesink Psychology

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Child Health PANDAS Autoimmune Parenting

May 7, 2026 · 8 min read · Navesink Psychology

When Strep Becomes Something More: A Parent's Guide to PANDAS

Your child had strep throat — and then something changed. Here's what every parent needs to know about PANDAS.

HA

Hadeel Alabed

Psychology Doctoral Student Intern · Navesink Psychology

Important note

If your child has experienced a sudden, dramatic change in behavior or mood after a strep infection, speak with a specialist. Early identification leads to better outcomes.

What exactly is PANDAS?

Think of the immune system as a search-and-destroy team sent to fight strep bacteria. In children with PANDAS — Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal infections — that team makes a critical mistake: it accidentally attacks healthy brain tissue instead of just the bacteria.

This "friendly fire" causes the brain to become inflamed, triggering a sudden and severe onset of OCD, tics, or restrictive eating in children before puberty. It is not a behavioral problem. It is not bad parenting. It is a medical condition with biological roots.

1 in 200

children in the US have PANDAS (PANDAS Network)

Pre-puberty

typical age of onset

Group A Strep

the bacterial trigger

How can a sore throat change my child's personality?

When Group A strep bacteria enter the body, the immune system produces antibodies to fight them. In children with PANDAS, those antibodies cross-react with proteins in the brain — specifically in areas that regulate mood, movement, and behavior, like the basal ganglia.

The result: abnormal brain signaling that can look like OCD, intense anxiety, sudden mood shifts, tics, or rage. It is a cyclic pattern — symptoms flare during or after infections, then may calm, then return with the next exposure.

Common symptoms to watch for:

Sleep disturbances

Sudden OCD or anxiety

Handwriting decline

Personality changes

Tics or motor issues

Academic regression

Bedwetting (regression)

Sensory sensitivity

Did this happen "overnight"?

Often, yes — and that overnight change is one of PANDAS's most distinctive hallmarks. Parents frequently describe it as a "light switch": their child went to bed one person and woke up someone different.

That said, the initial symptoms may not appear until months after a strep infection in some children. If your child is showing signs now but had strep earlier this year, PANDAS is still worth exploring.

The "light switch" check

Keep a simple log: when did symptoms start, how suddenly, and was there any illness in the weeks before? This timeline is one of the most important pieces of evidence when speaking with a specialist.

Is this permanent?

This is the fear that keeps parents up at night — and the answer, reassuringly, is no. PANDAS is treatable. Your child is still in there. The behaviors and symptoms are a sign of a brain under physiological stress, not a permanent personality change.

With appropriate treatment — especially when caught early — many children see significant improvement and return to their baseline selves. The earlier you identify and treat it, the better the outcomes tend to be.

Is it "bad behavior" or a "medical flare"?

This is one of the most important questions a parent can ask. A child in a PANDAS flare is not being defiant — their brain is physically inflamed and sending distorted signals. Trying to discipline your way through a medical episode will not work, and it is not your child's fault.

Ask yourself: did this behavior come on suddenly, does it seem disconnected from anything that happened at school or home, and does it cycle — getting better and then worse again? Those patterns point toward something physiological, not behavioral.

Why didn't my pediatrician catch this?

PANDAS is not yet part of standard medical school curriculum, and many pediatricians simply have not been trained to recognize it. This is not a failure of your doctor — it is a gap in systemic awareness that the PANDAS community is actively working to close.

You may need to advocate strongly. Ask for a referral to a specialist familiar with PANDAS, or contact the PANDAS Network (pandasnetwork.org) for physician resources. Diagnosis typically involves:

Strep cultures

Immunological tests

Brain scans

Cunningham Panel

Medical history review

Allergy testing

How do we fix it?

Treatment addresses both the infection and the brain inflammation. Antibiotics to treat or prevent strep are often a first step. Anti-inflammatory medications, immunotherapy (like IVIG or plasmapheresis), and behavioral therapy — including ERP for OCD symptoms — are all part of the toolkit depending on severity.

Therapy alone is rarely enough during a flare. But therapy becomes very powerful once the biological component is being treated. Think of it this way: you wouldn't ask someone with a broken leg to just try harder to walk. You treat the break, then do the rehab.

5 practical tools for parents

1

Do the "light switch" check

Track how fast symptoms appeared and whether a strep infection or illness preceded them. A sudden onset after illness is a key diagnostic signal — write it down with dates.

2

Regulate yourself first

During a flare, your child's nervous system is already overwhelmed. A calm, low-stimulation response from you helps de-escalate — even when the behavior is alarming or confusing.

3

Separate the child from the symptoms

Remind yourself and your child: "This is the PANDAS talking, not you." It protects your relationship and reduces shame and confusion for your child during hard moments.

4

Create predictable structure

Routine provides neurological safety for children whose brains are under stress. Consistent schedules, low-stimulation environments, and predictable transitions reduce flare intensity.

5

Build your care team early

Assemble a team that includes a PANDAS-literate physician, a therapist familiar with OCD and childhood autoimmune conditions, and your school's support staff. No one should navigate this alone.

Frequently asked questions

Is PANDAS the same as OCD?

Not exactly. OCD is the symptom; PANDAS is the underlying cause in these cases. A child with PANDAS may look like they have OCD, but the root is an autoimmune response — which means treatment needs to address the immune system, not just the behavior.

Will my child have PANDAS forever?

Many children with PANDAS improve significantly — especially with early treatment. Some children fully recover. Symptoms often diminish as children age through puberty, though ongoing strep prevention may remain important.

What should I do if my child just had strep?

Complete the full course of antibiotics. Monitor closely for any sudden behavioral or emotional changes in the days and weeks after. If you notice anything sudden and out-of-character, document it and contact your physician promptly.

How is PANDAS different from normal anxiety or OCD?

The key distinction is the sudden, dramatic onset tied to infection. Standard OCD typically develops gradually. PANDAS symptoms appear like a switch was flipped — often within 24–48 hours of illness — and they may cycle with future infections.

If you're navigating PANDAS or suspect your child may be affected, we're here to help.

Read: The Therapy-to-Home Connection ↗

The Therapy to Home Connection

Child Therapy Parenting April 20, 2026 · 5 min read

Why the space between sessions matters just as much as the sessions themselves.

MN

Michele Noesges, LCSW

Licensed Clinical Social Worker · Navesink Psychology

navesinkpsych.com ↗

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The core problem

If you're a parent or caregiver of a child in therapy, you might notice that progress can feel slow at times, or that certain behaviors continue even though your child is working hard in sessions. This is a common experience, and it can be confusing.

A child may spend an hour a week in therapy — but they spend most of their time at home, making the home environment one of the biggest influences on their progress. Real, lasting change tends to happen when what's being worked on in therapy is also supported in daily life.

For example, a child might be learning how to recognize and manage anxiety. But if a caregiver responds to that anxiety with heightened energy or strong emotional reactions, it can be harder for the child to use those new skills consistently. When there's a disconnect between therapy and home, it can create confusion or reinforce old patterns.

Without some shifts in the broader environment, children can end up going in circles — trying different tools without enough consistency to see what really helps, and what doesn't.

A holistic approach

Therapy gives children tools, language, and insight. It offers a space to explore emotions and practice new ways of coping. But it's only one part of the process.

A more holistic approach to child mental health means recognizing that children are deeply influenced by their relationships and environment. When caregivers are involved, curious, and open to adjusting their responses, therapy tends to be more effective and longer lasting.

This doesn't mean being perfect. It means being open to learning, reflecting, and growing alongside your child. When children see the adults in their lives doing this too, it builds safety, trust, and supports real change.

5 practical tools for caregivers

• 1
  Regulate yourself first

  Children often take emotional cues from adults. Before responding to your child's distress, take a moment to check in with yourself. A calmer response can help de-escalate situations more than reacting with urgency or intensity.
• 2
  Mirror the language used in therapy

  If your child is learning specific coping skills or emotional language, try to use those same terms at home. Consistency makes it easier for your child to apply what they've practiced in sessions.
• 3
  Validate before redirecting

  Instead of jumping straight to solutions, acknowledge your child's feelings first — "I can see you're really anxious right now." Feeling understood can help lower emotional intensity and make problem-solving easier.
• 4
  Create predictable routines

  Structure and consistency at home can provide a sense of safety, especially for children dealing with anxiety, emotional regulation challenges, or trauma.
• 5
  Stay curious, not critical

  If something isn't working, try to approach it with curiosity rather than frustration or judgment. Ask yourself: "What might my child need right now?" or "What's underneath this behavior?"

Frequently asked questions

Why isn't therapy alone enough? ›

Because children spend most of their time outside the therapy room. Without support in everyday moments, new skills can be hard to implement — let alone maintain. The home environment is where habits and patterns are reinforced or shifted.

Do I need to change my parenting style completely? ›

Not at all. Small, intentional shifts in how you respond can make a meaningful difference over time. The goal isn't to overhaul everything — it's to become a little more attuned and consistent.

What if I make mistakes? ›

You will, and that's part of the process. Repairing and modeling growth can be really powerful for children. It shows them that relationships can survive difficult moments — and that's a lesson that lasts.

How involved should I be in my child's therapy? ›

This depends on the therapist's approach and your child's needs. Staying informed, asking questions, and remaining open to collaboration is usually very helpful. Your child's therapist at Navesink Psychology can guide you on what involvement looks like for your specific situation.

Supporting a child in therapy isn't just about getting them to appointments — it's about shaping an environment where what they're learning can actually carry over into everyday life. When caregivers are willing to reflect and make small adjustments, therapy becomes something that extends well beyond the session.

You don't need to have all the answers. Being present, open, and willing to grow alongside your child already makes a meaningful difference.

Learn more at Navesink Psychology

Tags

Child therapy Parenting support Anxiety in children Emotional regulation Family involvement Co-regulation School-age children Behavior support Therapeutic alliance Mental health NJ Navesink Psychology LCSW

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Building a Winning Home: Family Culture of Accountability and Love March 23, 2026 Practice What You Preach: The Power of "OK" April 16, 2026 Technology Time Outs For Connection February 12, 2026

Building a Winning Home: How to Create a Family Culture of Accountability and Love

As a licensed psychologist who works with whole family systems, Dr. Tom Gambino has found that families often struggle to establish rules and boundaries at home. Parents report that loving and supporting a child while also holding them accountable can be a difficult balance to strike. But by borrowing from the world of sport psychology, families can take a page from a championship playbook. Winning teams consistently describe how a strong team culture carries them through adversity, keeps them united, and holds every member accountable — regardless of their role.

One strategy for building that same warm, "winning" culture at home is the weekly family meeting. During these meetings, every family member shares their thoughts on what the rules, expectations, and norms at home should look like. Children are encouraged to offer their own ideas, while parents share what matters most to them. Together, the family agrees on 5 to 7 rules, which are written on poster board, signed by every member, and displayed in multiple places around the house. From that point on, everyone is responsible for holding each other accountable, and any concerns are saved for the next weekly meeting. Over time, parents can introduce incentives to reinforce the rules, and the list itself can only be changed with the full agreement of the entire family. This work can also be completed in a family therapy session with the help of the licensed professionals at Navesink Psychological Services.

Technology Time Outs For Connection

Parents and families are often looking for guidance about technology use, and I have been working to find the research to help navigate these waters. 

Parental Technology Use in a Child’s Presence and Health Development in the Early Years, a systematic review and meta-analysis published in JAMA Pediatrics, examined how parents’ use of technology around young children affects early development. The study found that technoference (the frequent parental use of technology) was associated with negative psychosocial and cognitive outcomes. 

The findings do not suggest that technology use is inherently harmful or that parents should avoid using their devices completely. They demonstrate that we should be mindful about how and when technology is used around children. This is especially important during routine moments and daily interactions that could lead to communication, connection, and learning, if there is not a screen standing in the way. Early childhood requires responsiveness and reciprocal actions. If parents engage in frequent technology use around their children, connection decreases. Our team at Navesink Psychological Services suggests scheduled Tech Time Outs where everyone puts away devices and focuses on meaningful connections. For example, we saw many families enjoying time outside in Red Bank watching the ice boats on the Navesink River. Find the moments to put tech away and reconnect with what matters.

Social Media For Teens, The Goldilocks Theory of Too Little, Just Right, and Too Much

We often have families ask about social media use, and until recently, there has not been a lot of great research. As we help families in the Red Bank area navigate concerns with social media we are always looking for resources to share.

A recent article published in JAMA, Social Media Use and Well-Being Across Adolescent Development, compared the amount of time teens spend on social media to their well-being. In short, "moderate after-school social media use was linked to the highest well-being outcome," while teens that did not use social media at all "were more likely to experience decreased well-being in later adolescence."

The goal is to find the right amount or just enough time on social media for all teens. In my experience, families that are proactive and involve their teens in the social media decision-making process often have the best outcomes. Proactive work involves educating teens on being safe on social media, setting clear guidelines and limits for how long/when social media is allowed, and transparency that parents will have access or be able to see what their child is posting on social media. As teens become older, parents can become more lenient and flexible. 

An analogy that comes to mind is a teen learning how to drive a car. Even though there are inherent risks to driving, we wouldn't want to prevent them from driving a car or give them keys to a car the minute they turn 16. The general course of action for teens learning how to drive is taking a driving class, practicing driving with a driving instructor, driving with an adult in the car, then a probationary license with restrictions, with the goal being to receive their full license a few years later. Having these graduated steps in driving is a good framework for teens as they learn about social media and how to use it. 

Guest feature by Dr. Gambino, https://gambinopsych.com/