What services does Navesink Psychological Services offer?

Navesink Psychological Services offers individual and family therapy for children, adolescents, and adults, psychological evaluations for ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, and anxiety, sport and performance psychology, CBIT for tics and Tourette syndrome, SPACE for childhood anxiety, executive coaching, and esports behavioral health services. The practice is located in Red Bank, NJ.

Does Navesink Psychological Services accept insurance?

Navesink Psychological Services is a private-pay, out-of-network practice. Superbills are provided upon request so clients can seek reimbursement from their insurance provider directly.

Where is Navesink Psychological Services located?

Navesink Psychological Services is located at 55 Highway 35, Suite 6, Red Bank, NJ 07701, with an additional location in Oceanport, NJ. Telepsychology services are available across PSYPACT participating states.

How do I schedule an appointment at Navesink Psychological Services?

You can reach out to Navesink Psychological Services through the contact form at navesinkpsych.com/contact or by emailing mstrobel@navesinkpsych.com. Free consultations are available.

The Power of Praise! — Navesink Psychological Services

Parenting Child Development Behavior

Would you do your job if you weren't paid?

Hadeel Alabed

School Psychology Doctoral Candidate · NPS Intern

navesinkpsych.com ↗

As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we expect children to behave. We assume they should naturally know how to follow directions, stay calm, sit still, or share with a sibling. But here's an uncomfortable truth: behavior doesn't happen automatically, it's learned (Cherry, 2023). And if we want children to learn positive behavior, we have to treat it like any other skill: with clear feedback, consistency, and reinforcement.

Why the "good behavior should be expected" mindset happens

Many parents believe children should simply know better. That expectation tends to come from a few places:

1

Our own upbringing

Many of us were raised in homes where good behavior was the baseline and praise was reserved for exceptional achievement, so it can feel unfamiliar to praise the everyday stuff.
2

Cultural norms

Some cultures place a high value on self-control and quiet compliance, and view praise as unnecessary or even indulgent.
3

Misunderstandings about young brains

Children's brains are still building the pathways responsible for self-regulation, attention, and emotional control, which means "knowing better" and "being able to do better in the moment" are not the same thing (Grolnick & Ryan, 1989).

Would you do your job without pay or feedback?

If you showed up to work every day with no paycheck and no feedback, your motivation and focus would likely drop fast. Children are no different.

Verbal praise and positive attention function as reinforcement, especially when that attention is tied to a specific behavior: "you waited your turn so well!" rather than a vague "good job." This kind of specific, well-timed reinforcement helps children understand which behaviors actually hold value, which makes them more likely to repeat those behaviors going forward (Law et al., 2012).

Picture a child sitting quietly during circle time, hands folded, doing everything right while quietly trying to catch the teacher's eye. No one notices. Eventually the child gives up and slouches out of position, and that's the exact moment the teacher finally says something: "You're not sitting like a learner, go to time-out." The good behavior went unreinforced the entire time it was happening, and the only feedback the child received was for the moment it broke down.

If that praise had come earlier, while the child was doing the right thing, it likely would have strengthened that behavior instead.

Reinforcement vs. bribery: they are not the same thing

A common misconception is that any reward is a bribe. It isn't. The difference comes down to timing and intention.

Bribe

"If you put your coat on, I'll give you a cookie."

Offered before a behavior happens, as a condition for compliance.

Reinforcement

"You did such a great job putting your coat on by yourself, I'm proud of you."

Happens after the behavior, to strengthen it.

The confusion usually shows up when rewards are used reactively, out of desperation, rather than as a planned strategy. A familiar example: a child has a tantrum, and a parent offers a treat in the moment just to make it stop. It works in that one instance. But the child has just learned something powerful: "If I escalate, I get something." Over time, that pattern doesn't fade; the behavior it was meant to stop actually increases, because the bribe rewarded the escalation rather than the calm.

Bribes can also shift a child's whole frame of reference, from "what should I be learning here" to "what do I get out of this." Reinforcement does the opposite: it helps children connect their own actions to outcomes, which is what actually builds internal motivation and lasting habits.

What happens when praise is missing?

When children receive no reinforcement for positive behavior:

1

They don't get feedback about what to repeat, so good behavior has nothing reinforcing it.
2

Behavior becomes a guessing game, since the child has no clear signal about what's actually expected.
3

They may disengage entirely, because there's no clear reason to keep trying (Martinelli, 2026).

It's the same dynamic as never hearing "good job" or "thank you" at work. You might still show up, but your motivation will quietly erode over time.

Building intrinsic motivation

The goal isn't to reward every single thing a child does, that's neither realistic nor effective. Instead, be intentional: focus on a few specific behaviors you actually want to build, and use praise that highlights effort, progress, and feelings rather than fixed traits. Something like "you worked really hard on that" or "you kept trying even when it was tough" does more long-term work than a generic "good job."

As the behavior becomes more consistent, gradually fade the external praise. The aim is to shift the child from depending on outside reward toward genuine internal pride and confidence in their own ability.

Frequently asked questions

Are there age-specific strategies? ⌄

Yes. Younger children respond best to immediate, simple reinforcement: praise and attention delivered right in the moment. Older children benefit more from autonomy, privileges, and being included in decision-making. The right strategy evolves along with the child's development and personal interests.

How can parents avoid bribes in stressful moments? ⌄

The key is planning ahead. Parents who already have a reinforcement strategy in mind are far less likely to default to a reactive bribe when things get hard. It also helps to pause in the moment and ask yourself one question: am I rewarding the behavior I want, or am I just trying to stop the behavior I don't want?

Isn't praising every little thing excessive? ⌄

It can be, if it's vague or constant. The goal is intentional, specific praise tied to a few behaviors you're actively trying to build, not a steady stream of generic "good job." As those behaviors become consistent, the external praise should fade so the child's own internal motivation can take over.

What if my child only behaves well when I'm watching? ⌄

That's often a sign reinforcement has been inconsistent or hasn't fully transferred to internal motivation yet. Focusing praise on effort and progress, rather than just the outcome, and gradually fading external reward as behaviors stabilize, helps children build that internal sense of pride that doesn't depend on an audience.

Good behavior isn't something children arrive with, it's something they build, the same way adults build any skill: through feedback, consistency, and knowing that someone noticed when they got it right.

If you'd like support building a reinforcement strategy that fits your child's age and personality, our team at Navesink Psychological Services is here to help.

Reach out for a free consultation